Dear Mumma,
What is with your obsession with putting goop in my hair 3 times a day and putting more goop on my "Tony Danza" (that's my pee pee in case you didn't get the memo). I will address these topics one at a time so that you may clearly understand. In recent days, this issue you keep refering to as "Cradle Cap" (I call it "My Head Is Falling Apart") has been annoying the hell out of me and I really don't understand the connection between my itchy head and your attacks with the goop. If my hairs are bothering me, why bother me further with goop? Are you really that stupid? Do you really think that your relentless goop smearings are going to somehow distract from the irritation of my OWN HEAD? I pull my hairs to teach them a lesson and I don't need your goopings.
As for my Tony Danza. This far worse than my head. Do you not realize the amount of pain I was in? Taking a pee was horrible! What the hell was that? Then you started with that OTHER goop! Wait a second, come to think of it, My peeing has become normal again...perhaps your goop...no no. That isn't possible. You are just a pest. You must stop with the goop or I will put you on probation and cut your salary.
Signed,
Daxon
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