Daxohol

Giant Gorgeous Slob

No, it's not me for once.  In our backyard we have a Catalpa Tree.  It boasts HUGE heart-shaped leaves (great for shade) and in spring/early summer, Catalpa's bloom like crazy!  The flowers are white and have these adorable little purple lines in the center.

The tree was in full bloom two weeks ago and it was GORGEOUS!  I was looking up at it and I said to Gary "WOW! I should really take a picture of that!" But, I was on my way out the door, and then...WARNING! EXCUSES AHEAD! ...because I work all day, come home and tend to my home and boy...I forgot to take that picture, and now, all the blooms are dried up and gone.  I'm sad that I didn't get the photo because it was such a beautiful sight.  Especially since the amount of clean up with these trees is so extensive, I wanted the image as a reward for all the raking and sweeping! 

But wait! There's MORE in store for us to marvel, then clean up!  In the fall, these trees sprout giant seed pods that look like snow peas on steroids.  I only know this because when we first moved in here in the early spring, Daxon and I cleaned up the backyard and picked up all these dried pods.  Then of course there's those giant leaves that have to fall off!

This could very well be the most beautiful SLOB I've ever known.

I found these pictures online of the tree and it's blooms and leaves. Ours is quite huge.

Holy Crap it's Summer of 2009!

Time to post huh?!?! So much has happened. Here's a brief summary of things.

• We've moved. We are renting a house that is nice and spacious.  It's an old house with lots of character and charm.
• I GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE - and I also have my own vehicle thanks to my totally amazing and inspiring grandmother (who I call 'Nannie').  After she broke her leg she decided she was not going to continue driving at the age of 88!  She gave me her car.  Which, to be totally honest - was a HUGE shock/surprise and I've only had it for nearly a month now and I still sort of feel like it's a dream...the impact it's made on life is beyond describable! Sure cars come with new worries, but I tell you, after spending so many years planning my life around the mercy of other people's acts of kindness and the tyranny of public transit, I'll happy to exchange the old set grievances to another set which reaps so much more independence and freedom! 
• My job! Holy cow my job!  I started this job exactly a year ago this week.  It was a 9 month pilot contract that got extended, and now, we have achieved a 21 month continuation!!! The other piece of good news is that for this round of contract, we are 90% on our way to having 2 weeks vacation time!  Let me tell you, after working for nearly 3 years without any time off - I'm tired - and I miss my sister. I'm not an envy filled or jealous person, but I'm REALLY getting tired of working so hard, and not being able to swap vacation stories.  I'd like to also add that I'm not ungrateful.  I acknowledge that I am extraordinarily lucky for having a job when so many others don't or can't work.  I truly value my work and the nature of the very high needs work I do.  I am humble, but everyone deserves a break here and there.  I just really think it's time I have my kit-kat. 
• During this past year I have gained so much experience. I've learned so much. I cannot tell what this work has taught me, and continues to teach me.  I have evolved into a line of work I never thought I'd be in.  I started working with Seniors, then with woman-led families who are dealing with many complex issues (child protection service involvement, custody and fleeing violence), and now I am working primarily with women who are currently incarcerated or who have recently been released from a correctional facility.  Heavy huh? Now you see why I need a vacation after 3 years?!
• MY SON!!!! My pride and joy, Daxon.  He finished his Junior Kindergarten year with his progress reports glowing! He'll be heading into Senior Kindergarten this fall.   He is so smart and he is a good friend to his lil' buddies.  He chooses his closest friends wisely (thank god!).  Sure enough, he's grown up to express keen, solid interest in music and science.  This has been consistent since he was a baby.  Always listening very closely to sounds, singing, playing/making instruments.  It's his own priority to know what bands/musicians play which songs, and which instruments.  It's amazing!  On the techie front, he has always taken things apart and loves getting help peicing together again!  He loves to learn how everything works; parts, processes, cycles and patterns.  He LOVES picture encyclopedias - books on the human body, insects/animals, nature/earth, space...the child is a full blown geek and I LOVE IT!  He also loves to draw and practice his printing.  He is a very spiritual soul and is keen to learn and explore his Anishnabe heritage, culture and language.  I am beyond proud and blessed.  Then of course, there is the darker side of the boy - *sinister laugh* He's got a temper and he's not afraid to use it.  He's got a stubborn streak that is off the charts.  He is a free spirit so these traits are no suprise to me, but handling them on a daily basis is a real challenge - but I'm learning.  I've just started reading a great book right now that is hopefully going to give Gary and I some new insight onto our parenting style and framework.  More on that later...

So that's the latest for now.  I have lofty ideas of a writing plan - I'm taking myself seriously on that, but I don't expect any of you in the abyss out there to...

More coming!

Possessions

When Gary and I first got together, we used to take nice walks around different neighborhoods and check out houses.  Our joke was that we'd be so curious about what was *inside* the house.  What did they have hanging on the walls?  Furniture pieces, What was their decor style?  Photos?  Art?  Knick knacks?   We'd laugh about how funny it would be to knock on someone's door and say "hey...uh, can I look at your stuff?"

At work, I've been using various used items/recycling community networks in order to assist a couple clients in getting things they need for their new living arrangements. In a nutshell, they are starting over, coming out of hospital from a long stay and moving into apartments (the circumstances under which they have gotten to the point of having no belongings are as unique as the people themselves.)

So today, I went to an address to pick up a toaster.  The homeowner was a lovely lady, with a lovely home.  She invited me in.  She knew roughly the circumstances under which I was picking up the toaster.  She offered me many other very useful items which I gladly took.  She walked me around her home and asked me to tell her what we needed and she'll see if she can help.  I named off a few things, but I was a bit hesitant because I just couldn't get past the bizarre sensation that I was invited into a strangers home and walking out with...their stuff!  I felt like I was shopping in someone's house!  I joked when I got back to the office that it doesn't count as a "smash and grab" if you invite someone in and tell them to take stuff right?

We have wonderful thank you cards that one of the other facilitators made and I am looking forward to popping one in the mail to her. 

It's a wonderful thing, keeping items no longer wanted out of landfill.  Because somewhere else, they are needed - and sometimes, they need to be of no cost for those that need them most.

And...I got to live out one of my twisted little daydreams...weeeeeeird.

Moving Through The Blogoshere

Since I'm so eager to get back into the swing on blogging, I went through my blog roll.  It sort broke my heart a little.

I miss some of the folks I used to connect with.  Some are still around, some in new bloggy digs, but some have disappeared.  The ones who have disappeared I just can't help but wonder if they are okay...probably, but I still want to know.  Some of these folks I had a great time with.  I know it's hard to imagine having a good time with people you've never met before - but seriously.  We read about each other's lives, we comforted each other, shared joys, sadness, anxieties, rants, debates, and oh hell yes we laughed with each other.  Some of us partied on MSN until obscene hours of our respective time zones and had an absolute blast.  My early days of motherhood were shared with these folks through this blog.  Hell, after the brutal creative beating I took in college, I recovered any will I had left to write on this blog.  My readers were a huge motivation. 

I'm glad to see that some are still out here in the sphere.  I've always lurked here and there even when I wasn't writing.

Anyhow, now that I'm back - I hope I can reconnect with some that are still around.  I look forward to making new connections.  I remember fondly and hope the people who have moved on are well.

I don't mind writing into an abyss.  I did it when I first started, I'll do it again.  Besides lurkers are just a click away...

****you can skip his little preamble - but his song about video blogs is cute.

Saturday Night Live

Live from my basement it's Saturday night.  Not doing much of anything tonight.  I did find a snazzy little flash player so I can add music to my posts.

Daxon and I had a pretty mellow day today.  I kept asking him if he wanted to go on an adventure, or a walk - he just didn't want to and said he just wanted to play and watch TV.  I thought about it, and it occurred to me that his weekdays now are rather busy for a little guy.  Two schools a day.  By nightfall he is pretty beat and usually there is no trouble getting him to sleep (which is a nice change).  So I guess I can let go of feeling like a poo-head for not having something exciting planned on Saturday.  He just wanted to chill and relax.  I'll be honest and say I was totally game for couchin' it.  We did manage to venture out and grab some groceries.

So this is a boring post.  I do have much more I could write about regarding a hot debate happening in Dax's school.  I now lovingly refer to the whole hoopla as "Milk-gate" - the name is thanks to my friend who is also a former co-worker and her daughter is in Dax's class.  Milk-gate is quite entertaining only I've run out of steam writing about it on the message group.  I will say this...somehow, a woman with way too much time on her hands has decided that the Dairy industry is the devil and that our school's participation is considered equivalent to cultural genocide.  That's the nutshell.  I shit you not, it's that bat shit crazy. 

I'll leave you with this as opposed to me investing more energy over spilled milk.

Age Remix

Before I go ahead with this post, I need to clarify that in my job, the demographic I work for are people over 50 (Seniors).  Now, before anyone who reads this who is near 50, exactly 50,  is just over fifty or well over 50 tries to bludgeon me with their Nike shoes or strangle me with their Yoga Strap,  I hate labels.  So to me "Seniors" is a only something I feel you can call yourself if you *want* to.  Otherwise - your old.  Joking, joking...keep your canes down.  Oh god I just can't stop!  Seriously, no disrespect.  I have deep respect, that's why I'm working in this area.  This is my first time in the trenches assisting people with complex issues that are relevant to this age group. I find healing in humour.  Humour is my coping mechanism.  In the course of some of my days I see alot of things...alot of things I've never seen before, and I have had to learn to process and handle my emotions and my perspectives.  It's great that I have a team I can debrief with, a team that shares my sense of humour.  It's part of our culture, it's part of our culture's healing.

On with the post.

I had a nice brisk walk from one meeting place to another today.  My destination is one that I always dread going to. It's a long term care facility, and it's not one of the more pleasant ones.  I had my music pumpin' and I was energized and feeling good.  I have no real idea of what order my tunes are going in because my MP3 player is not all that fancy.  I am at the mercy of randomness at the moment.  So just as I am approaching the place a remix of Enya's "Orinoco Flow" and Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" comes on.  I start laughing out loud...

There is an episode of South Park where Stan's Grandpa turns 102, and all he wants for his birthday is for Stan to kill him. Of course Stan refuses. Grandpa shows Stan what it's like being old by putting him in a dark room and playing Enya music.

I tell Gary of my whimsical moment and he tells me that last night while he was at his brother's they watched that very episode.

It Goes To Show You Never Can Tell

So, the job search is over for a short while.  I'm working on contract for a immigrant women's organization. However, according to my contract with the Ministry of Training (that's who pays me), I am allowed to continue job search activities (including going for interviews).  It's great to have that safety net.  The current project I'm working on is really great (International Marketplace).  It's down to crunch time as the two marketplace events are next week and the week after so things are very busy, but progressing nicely.  I look forward to the events to see them come alive! 

Now, what is really blowing my mind lately is the next project for this organization I'll be working on.  I will be directing a play - scripted fully and/or partially - the facilitator of the program has also considered using this "holy mother of wow" model:
Theatre of The Oppressed
Read about it here
and be sure to check out the Declaration of Principals

Who knew all these years of improv would benefit a paying job. I certainly didn't.  How on earth could you?  I mean seriously this is the biggest fluke ever. This ladies and gents, is were I turn my head up to that Creator of mine and say "HEY!!!!!!! THANKS!!  SERIOUSLY THANKS!!!!!!"

She has modified the tree to suit our situation (youth immigrant girls 13-17).

So, the Cole's Notes is:
Day Job
Improv and Theatre
Girl Power
all coming together at once.

Please don't wake me up.

"Nothing is so boring as listening to someone else describe a dream" ~ George Carlin

So if you agree, you may want to skip this post.

I was waiting for this dream.  In times of high emotion and transition in my life I always have a tornado dream.  It is a cleansing process I appreciate.  Last night it finally happened and I feel much more rejuvenated.  My mind finds intense release through tornadoes.  All that swirling, ripping, throwing, intense energy gets dispersed in these dreams and I tell you I felt much more peaceful after I rode out the remnants of fear.

This time, I was attending an event for a friend - I had no clue which one - and I had no clue of the nature of the event.  When I first arrived, there were people standing in tight circles, talking about him - I got this uneasy feeling it was a funeral - then I saw a picture of him mounted on an easel outside and heard his name.  It was an old childhood friend.  I make my way up to a huge old century home with a large deck out front.  I see that among the strangers there are people I know, a lot of my current friends who all coincidently knew the guy.  I go into the house and I see him.  He's alive and well and suddenly the mood in the room changes from somber to happy.  We had not seen each other in years - and I hugged him - suddenly, big band jazz erupts from the sound system and we swing danced like nothing I'd ever seen before (I did watch Dancing With The Stars before bed last night).  The room applauded and we went outside to catch our breath.  There were people standing in clusters outside.  Some quite a distance away from the house.  I set off to join a cluster of my buddies.   Clouds started rolling in and we thought it might blow over, when all the sudden five twisters touched down and wildly made their path towards us. We didn't know which way to run, except away.  The sensation of wanting run and being unable to move kicked in and it took all of my physical strength to get to the house.  I kept turning my head around to watch the twisters as they danced all over the place terrorizing everyone.  A tree was ripped from its roots and fell over - one person - a stranger was unfortunately standing in the  landing destination and he was injured.  I made it to the house and the tornadoes lifted and went away.  Silence swept over the gathering.  All I could hear was my own heavy breathing.  Then things returned to normal - like nothing happened.  I woke up, my heart pounded out of my chest - still shaking off the intense fear.  Once it passed, if a rush of calm is possible, I felt it.  What a relief.



 

Hump Day Hoopi-dee-doo

After my interview last Thursday, they decided I was the right person. I got the job. Then the company was informed by the parent company of a reorganization that phased out the position they were hiring for. So, yeah – I got the job. It just doesn’t exist. 

I know I’m not the only person to loose a job before I even start. Right?

Yesterday I went to a job fair. First time ever going to one of those and I have to say it was certainly awful. I felt like I should have been sporting white and black spots and wearing my best cowbell - because every job fair needs a little more cowbell. The good thing is I got some helpful advice on a couple things and I also left on a high note after running into one of the smartest, corset wearing vixens I know.

I’d also like to debunk any possible rumour that my child adjusted without issue to pre-school.  I took some initiative and spoke with his teacher yesterday about a few concerns I had and some things that should have been brought to my attention ages ago have been revealed – nothing I didn’t already suspect, but since I asked, I was told. I mean, who knew that he’d be a bit of a challenge? I cried at first, felt like a failure as a mother for about a day, but now, after speaking with some trusted individuals – I have a plan and boy, oh boy, my “take no shit” hat is on. I think I’ll go to the thrift store and outfit myself with a pair of camouflage pants and a whistle. 

I am looking forward to feeling like I’m a little more in control of my life. Even though the notion is laughable in light of this:

http://nsidc.org/news/press/2007_seaiceminimum/20070810_index.html

Right now, I feel unemployed, broke, pissed off and wanting to throw rabid porcupines at DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) with SUVs.

Into the abyss

Sooooo....

I can actually hear crickets.  Not good.

Well, if anybody happens to check here, hi!!!!

Dax is in preschool now.  It's awesome.  My burlesque show has taken off quite well, and is currently in a state of transition.  Lots of exciting things happening (none that I can elaborate on now) but I feel very proud of what we've accomplished in the short time that we have been doing this.  So no matter what happens, in the end, it was a great endeavor.

I'm lucky enough now to be in a position where I can relax a bit about the production end, and now I am free to concentrate on the creative.  Which is why I started in the first place - but it got lost in the demand of promotion, planning and other endless details.  Not that these things are no longer, its just that there are more people helping out, which is so awesome.  Not to mention, my partner in crime "dee-saster" is a more than capable producer who seriously gets things done. It took me eons to just relax - but hey, I get like that when I've invested so much. 

My god I miss all my old bloggin' sistas and bruthas.  I've been checking in on folks periodically, lurking...sad to see some of the old blogs I've used to frequent are just online tombs of what used to be a fruitful network of electronic and genuine connections.  I think of you all and hope you are well and safe wherever you are.

I always have such silly lofty dreams of writing, so many broken promises to myself - I've accepted that it's my own lack of discipline and self imposed time constraints that hinder me.  That and I think I just ran out of steam or something, I felt like I had run out of things to say out loud.  So, I guess I've been gathering myself for another outburst.  It's been brewing for awhile.